Reidmueller “Not Fat”

Good news from the Reidmueller camp today. According to the official “Martinez BMI Index,” Stephen Reidmueller is not fat.

“I’ve been having a string of bad luck…what with the whole job market and all,” said Reidmueller, currently on his sixth day in the same PJs. “But in between watching seasons of every TV show made between 78 and 94, I’ve played some ultimate [frisbee] and ran some, I guess.”

Experts are calling Reidmueller’s remarkable “Reverse-Silver” a miracle. Citing Hollowell-ian history, Tejas Braves usually get larger with age, directly correlating to the amount of classes taken. They are chalking the phenomenon up to a lack of money to actually buy food and an abundance of free time to exercise without the burden of gainful employment or class.

[Ed. Note: Not to be confused with “Running Stephen Reidmiller,” another person entirely]

Reidmueller apparently doesn't tip this

Reidmueller apparently doesn’t tip this…or waiters.


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