‘Fries of Texas’ may run all kitchens in West Campus area

We here at the Daily Hexan have recently come across a personal email from Tejas Kitchen Manager Robert McCruddy to someone at the email address of ‘birde-mon@Tacotaxi.org.’

In what is believed to be a secret society of chefs and those involved in managing kitchens, known locally as the “Fries of Texas,” McCruddy called for more “Zesty” dishes on the chef’s menu.”I don’t care if you use Lemon zest or Orange zest,” McCruddy said in the email. “Just stay zesty. You know how these bitches love their zest. The fuck man!?”

In the email, McCruddy also alleged that if he doesn’t improve the garlic/zest ratio, outsiders could end up becoming the chef of Tejas. McCruddy seemed disgusted that such outsiders would even think of applying for the job of Tejas chef, questioning their audacity with a “The fuck?”

The real issue here is that when we at the Hexan visited the Tejas website, the meal plan section under “Tejas News” had not been updated since February 8th. This is alarming news since the current Xinesi of Tejas won the position promising more ‘transparency.’ Over a month without update, is not what we would call transparent.

CC’ed on the email were one Charcole Dabney (Charcoledabney@gmail.com) and Mark Montaro (Mark@Montaro.org), believed to be heirs to the “Fries of Texas” or what they call “Burger Princes.” McCruddy is believed to be a head member of the secret organization because he signed the email “The Burger King.” More to come on this story over the next 3-6 weeks as we report and editorialize on every aspect.
-Hexan Editorial staff
frEYEs of Texas

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